Unresolved Pain
- Jaime Amadio
- May 28
- 4 min read
Why You Still Feel Stuck (Even When You “Should” Be Fine)
When unresolved pain shows up in my life, it doesn’t look dramatic. It slips in subtly — a craving for potato chips, a glass (or bottle) of wine, a sudden need to binge-watch Netflix, or an irresistible urge to shop online.
It looks like escapism.
Avoidance.
Anything but actually feeling the things that are trying to get my attention.

Can you relate?
For many years, I wore masks. I built a persona that looked confident and competent — someone who had it together. But deep down, I felt completely out of integrity with the truth I held inside.
Carl Jung once said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
The same is true of our pain. Until you feel it — fully and truthfully — it will rule your life. It will shape your patterns. Sabotage your relationships. Cloud your potential. And you’ll assume that’s just your destiny.
But it’s not.
Pain Isn’t Meant to Be Escaped — It’s Meant to Be Met
The reason so many of us feel stuck, disconnected, or incapable of having what we truly desire — whether it’s deep love, meaningful work, a purpose in life, or inner peace — is because the pain we’ve avoided is shaping our path behind the scenes.
When we don’t meet our pain, it leads us along paths we don't necessarily want to follow.
I see this all the time in my clients. It was my reality too.
For years, my fear of intimacy showed up as choosing emotionally unavailable men. Or sabotaging the good ones. Because somewhere deep inside, I believed I wasn’t worthy of love.
That pattern dominated my 20s and 30s. It wasn’t just bad luck — it was unhealed pain running the show.
The Work Begins in the Shadows
Learning to walk in solitude — to sit with my shadows, to stay with myself through the discomfort — was one of the hardest, most humbling things I’ve ever done.
But it was also the most liberating.
Because until you meet those hidden parts, they control you.
They whisper lies like, “You’re not enough. You don't have anything to offer the world. You're not smart or creative or interesting. Nobody really likes you or is interested in what you have to say.”
Or they show up in fears, reading into to meanings that aren’t there. Distrusting a person when they show you kindness for no reasson.
True transformation isn’t about silencing those voices. It’s about facing them and reclaiming your power.
This isn’t the glamorous part of personal growth. It’s the quiet, gritty, often tear-filled process of becoming honest with yourself.
Your Nervous System Is the Gateway to Change
Real healing doesn’t come from bypassing the pain.It comes from learning how to meet it safely, in your body — without spinning into overwhelm.
This is why nervous system regulation is at the core of everything I teach. When we learn to feel our pain in a grounded way — to meet it without being consumed by it — that’s where real freedom begins.
I always tell my clients: you can’t release a lifetime of trauma in a few sessions. Healing isn’t linear, and it isn’t quick. If you’ve been through deep pain — especially physical, sexual, or emotional trauma — it will take time. I thought I could heal my past in a few months. The reality? It took years. And my insecurities took even longer.
But it was worth it.
There is nothing more powerful than taking yourself to the edge of what you can feel — and bringing yourself back. Doing that again and again expands your window of tolerance.
And with that expansion?
You unlock more of you.
Healing Isn’t a Quick Fix — But It Is Possible
We live in a culture that chases instant gratification. We want 3-step plans and one-session miracles.
But healing unresolved trauma requires patience, compassion, and commitment.
You don’t need to do it all at once. In fact, you shouldn’t.
Trying to release too much pain too quickly is like detonating an emotional atomic bomb — your nervous system wouldn’t be able to handle it. The key is in pacing. Learning how to slowly, gently, semantically meet your own pain — and digest it in a way that your body can accept it without resisting it.
That’s what builds true resilience.
That’s what rewires your destiny.
The Edge Is Where You Reclaim Your Power
There’s something holy that happens when you go to the edge of discomfort — and come back safely.
When you’ve had your power taken from you — through trauma or conditioning— one of the most empowering things you can do is walk into the fire, feel what’s there, release it… and come back whole.
With the right guide — a coach, healer, or therapist who can hold space for you, you can learn that the pain you once feared doesn’t have to define you anymore.
I always tell my clients - the fear of going there is worse than actually going there.
Facing that fear is the first step.
Once done, your body becomes a safe place that no longer requires you to distract from it.
Your emotions become portals to truth.
And your life begins to align with who you really are.
This Is How You Create a Life of Wholeness
When you open yourself to feel the lows, you expand your capacity to feel the highs.
You become available for joy. For love. For depth. You become the fullest expression of who you are — not because you added more to your life, but because you cleared what was blocking it.
This is the work of a lifetime. And it starts with one step.
Ready to Begin?
If you’re holding pain you haven’t known how to face — or you’re stuck in patterns you don’t know how to break — I want you to know: you’re not alone.
There is a way through.
✨ Book a Free Clarity Call with me.
This is a space to exhale. To feel seen. To begin.
You don’t need to know exactly what’s wrong. You just need to be willing to start.
This work is sacred. And you are worthy of it.
With love,
Jaime
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